Lucinda Wells [Hannibal Lecter]

I lost a case today. A pedophile gets to walk free and rape little girls because I didn't do my job well enough.

I fucking hate technicalities.

I really need a drink. And to murder that man.

I've taken Asher to the hospital.

In case anyone cares.

I haven't written in this thing in so long. I'm not even sure how I knew to pick it up again, or where it was. But I found it, and I'm actually writing in it. No doubt some of you are shocked that I'm alive, or perhaps you're not. I certainly am surprised most of the time by being alive myself. The past four years have been tough to say the least. But I'm back in control now, and I do not really remember a bit of the last ten years. And there are those things that I remember but I couldn't control.

Not that I expect anyone to believe me, and I'm not quite sure how sorry I am for those things but.. well, there you go.

So, since this lovely war is over. Tell me, what have I missed?

I have to admit that this whole experiment with the water and telling the truth was something worthy to watch. Usually people are so boring around here that it's a pain to keep up with them all. All of those deep dark secrets that are just churning and waiting to be released to the surface. Feels a bit like church in a way, complete with confession. I should like people to confess things to me. I'll absolve you of all your sins. It doesn't even have to be in person, leave an anonymous comment if you wish. I dare you.

We're having a special at the restaurant for the next week. Lamb chops, cooked in this beautiful sauce full of cheese and capers and wine. It's breathtaking really. It's on special and everything, so come by if you're feeling the need for lamb chops. We have a lot of other things to eat too of course.

I think it's time to go and get a drink. Anyone want to join me?

It feels like everyone is complaining about something. Whatever happened to being satisfied with things around you? If you don't like something, then just change it. You're a person. Stop acting like a spoiled little brat. Unless of course that's just in your nature.

Our nature causes us to do the most sinful of acts, does it not?

Tell me. Which sin is your favorite? And which one do you think you commit the most often? Those are two different answers of course.

There are certain measures in this world by which we judge ourselves and each other. It's instantaneous, and whether we admit it to ourselves, everyone does it. It's a gut instinct when someone approaches you that you just don't get a feel for. The way the hair stands up on the back of your neck. It feels like someone's whispered in your ear, told you to look out for them. Maybe you push that voice out of your head, and tell yourself you're going to get to know the other person. They can't be all that bad, you tell yourself. Those judgments are still there, and soon you tell yourself that you don't judge people, you give them all a fair and equal advantage.

But that's not the truth is it? Every time you see that person, you squelch that first flight or fight response. Which is it then? Flight or fight? Are you a coward when you meet those people and avoid them at all costs or do you put aside all of your rational thinking to give someone a second chance.

You tell me something, I tell you something. That's how the game works.